Here I Am

Happy New Year! I say to those I love
Someone says the start of another decade with all it’s hopes
And I am frozen, thinking not of it's start but of how it may end

Quietly up the stairs to hold his resting warm hand
My nose in his hair, boyish smell sweet and familiar
At the start of the next he’ll be preparing for flight

At the bottom bunk I lean in and do the same
Wrap a curl around my finger, smile at his lashes
At the beginning of the next he’ll be at someone else’s party

The baby fusses and I am relieved to fill my arms
My lips on his soft cheek, my cheek on his fuzzy head
At the start of the next I will still be able to hold him, right?

I look over at my love, asleep, as I should be
We are so tired, he and I in our work together
At the start of the next and the next and the next
he will be here, I will still hold him and he will hold me
He will live with me as long as he lives and I am happy

At the start of this past I embraced with welcome relief
fresh opportunity to move on from the devastation of the last
During this I have rebuilt, relearned and started new
Amazed at who I hold and who holds me

Grateful now for who I, we, have grown to be

May the moments I am given
always remain my reality
Whether they bring loss or fulfillment

This I have spent a decade learning, experiencing




I ask, What can I do and become in the upcoming?
To more fully live in love, peace, truth and grace with you and your created?
I am not satisfied with me but I sigh contentedly because you are.